Dead Drive (Book 1): A Hopefully Prophetic Unauthorized Autobiography by Trask Mike
Author:Trask, Mike [Trask, Mike]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Zombie Apocalypse
Publisher: EastSide Ladykillaz
Published: 2018-05-09T04:00:00+00:00
***
Seconds later, the phone rang again. My first thought was that it was Emma calling back for round two. But, it wasnât. It was a number I had seen a lot in the past couple days. This number belonged to Daniela Holichova.
âOh ⦠shit,â I said aloud. Excitement grabbed hold of my entire body. My breathing ⦠I donât even know how to describe what happened. It was as if my body was going into these weird, spastic seizures. My heart leapt into my throat, while my stomach plummeted to my feet. âShit, shit, shit, shit,â I repeated, growing more nervous by the second, as my phone continued to ring. âHoooooly balls ⦠shhiiiiiiiiiit.â
I had never been more nervous in my life. This made facing the horde of zombies in New York look like a frolic in the park. I had to answer the phone before the opportunity disappeared.
Mike, I said to myself. Please. I beg of you. For once in your life, donât be stupid. Please. Donât scare her, creep her out ⦠donât be a complete retard. Please.
Such words of encouragement.
Mustering my courage, I pressed the button.
âHello?â I answered as calmly as I could, trying to hide just how excited I was for our first actual conversation.
âHi,â she responded, with a little hesitancy, followed by a giggle. âCan you talk right now, or â¦â I couldnât help but smile, hearing the voice I had heard many times on TV, now talking to me.
âYeah, I can talk,â I answered, as even keeled as possible.
âWell, I just didnât know if you were busy fighting off zombies,â she said, followed by a semi-awkward silence.
âNo, Iâm just driving in Pennsylvania somewhere.â
âOh, okay,â she paused again. âSo ⦠youâre not a serial killer, right?â
âWhat?!â I asked, bursting out laughing at the pure randomness, not to mention ridiculousness, of the question.
âYouâre not, right?â Daniela asked again.
âWell, I was for a while, but the dental plan was crap. And the hours were just ⦠killer,â I joked.
She laughed and said, âSo, a retired serial killer?â
âYeah. I wasnât very good at it, either. I mean if someone wandered close enough to my recliner, sure. But other than that, I was one Lazy Boy.â I couldnât help but chuckle at my own stupid recliner joke.
âHow unfortunate,â she laughed again. âOh, and I see what you did there with the Lazy Boy comment. Very nice.â
âOh, thank God. Itâs always nice when someone gets my references.â
âWell, I got it,â Daniela giggled.
âAnd I must say, thatâs the first time Iâve ever been asked that right out of the gate, in my first conversation with somebody. You know, the whole serial killer thing.â
âOh, well that is good. That means people donât just automatically assume you are one when they first meet you.â
âWell ⦠to my knowledge, nobody thinks I am.â
âOkay, good. So how was your first day on the road?â
âWhat? Youâre just gonna transition into a normal conversation after asking me if Iâm a serial killer?!â I asked, laughing.
âYes,â she chuckled again.
Download
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.
Dark Humor | Humorous |
Satire |
The Hating Game by Sally Thorne(18617)
Cat's cradle by Kurt Vonnegut(14721)
The Break by Marian Keyes(9064)
Crazy Rich Asians by Kevin Kwan(8859)
A Man Called Ove: A Novel by Fredrik Backman(8161)
Me Before You by Jojo Moyes(6191)
The Rosie Project by Graeme Simsion(5807)
Beartown by Fredrik Backman(5303)
Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman(5073)
A Year in the Merde by Stephen Clarke(5055)
Beach Read by Emily Henry(4881)
The Unhoneymooners by Christina Lauren(4630)
Audition by Ryu Murakami(4592)
China Rich Girlfriend by Kwan Kevin(4262)
Rich People Problems by Kevin Kwan(4100)
Ayesha At Last by Uzma Jalaluddin(3984)
Lamb, the Gospel According to Biff by Christopher Moore(3286)
Hardcore Twenty-Four by Janet Evanovich(3205)
The Rosie Effect by Graeme Simsion(3185)
